yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
