We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
