So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
