My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
