a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
