Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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