Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
