the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
