I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize