Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
