No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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