there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
