you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
