Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
