Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
