Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
