Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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