So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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