Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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