i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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