we have officially lost it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
