do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize