I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
