Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
