Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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