Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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