Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
