Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize