How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
