She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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