Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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