I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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