eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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