Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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