Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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