dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
