I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You are the jesus of drinking
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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