First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
well you can't waste a boner
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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