You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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