you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
