i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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