Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
