she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
