I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
