Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize