I have demons in me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
