He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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