we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
