I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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