So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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