Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
