yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
