I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
