i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
