if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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