yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
