two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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