Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
