I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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