It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize