anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
