Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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