So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
