Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
