I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
