Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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