umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
