Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The adults are the big ones right?
how does that bad decision feel?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
