bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I didn't notice because vodka
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
