Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize