And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
